What a sad time to be a Ducks fan.

Last week Oregon lost to its in-state rival for only the second time in the last decade. It was a crushing blow for the Ducks, and they destroyed any potential argument for making the college football playoff. Then yesterday, they played their worst football of the season, losing to the 0–3 Cal Bears. The past two weeks have been a complete meltdown from Mario Cristobal and his football team.

Yesterday’s game was the worst UO has looked since 2016, as the Ducks came out flatter than a 5th grade girl at…


Have you ever seen one of those “Fart in a Can” bottles? You know, the cans where you spray a little bit and the whole room smells like a Cici’s bathroom right after the noon buffet? Well, whether you’ve heard of it or not, I’m here to tell you that I’ve found the human version of a “Fart in a Can” bottle. Who is it? It’s Baker Mayfield.

Despite the Browns now having an 8–3 record, there’s no denying that Baker has been liquid ass throughout the season. The Texas native got the win on Sunday against the Jags, but…


Aaron Rodgers got some praise on Thursday night, after throwing for four TDs and slicing and dicing through the Niners practice squad defense. And when I say practice squad, I truly mean it. Let’s think about who the Niners were missing. Just to name a few, the Niners had no Nick Bosa, Ezekial Ansah, Dee Ford, Mark Nzeocha, Richard Sherman, Solomon Thomas, and K’waun Williams. It was quite literally the practice squad that was out there, and A-Rodg took full advantage of the opportunity.

Even on the offensive side, the Niners have been riddled with injuries throughout the season. We…


The NFC East is liquid ass. They’ve earned the nickname ‘NFC Least’ for a reason, and it’s because all four teams are complete and utter cheeks.

The atrocious play-making was on full display this weekend, as we were unlucky enough to have two NFC East matchups in week seven. A Giants vs Eagles Thursday night game? No thank you. Thursday Night Football is almost always a snooze fest. But this week… Daniel Jones and Carson Wentz kept it interesting with a battle of retardation. …


Orlando- In classic LeBron fashion, the 18 time all star told Danny Green to pack his bags Friday, after the Lake Show lost Game 5 to the Miami Heat. “We can’t have you missing wide open threes. My five year old daughter can hoop better than you. You a construction worker head ass with all these bricks!” Clearly Bron was not happy.

Danny Green was escorted to Orlando International Airport where he was then forced to fly Spirit Airlines for his flight back to LA. “It sucks man. I just wanted to help the team, but unfortunately, I’m complete ass.”…


Hillsboro, OR- In a wild turn of events, Washington County cop, David Lewis, has resigned from the Hillsboro Police Force after 28 years of service. His reason for resigning? Reading “Black Lives Matter” on an NBA court.

Lewis explained his though process, saying “You know, I was watching some NBA basketball, as us 50 year old white men do, and those words on the court really got to me.” Lewis, a man of God, has been cited with over 33 harmful convictions towards people of color in the past decade, and he admits that Adam Silver’s message was the breaking…


It was the battle of Ohio in our week 2 Thursday night game. Baker vs Burrow. Two Heisman winners going at it.

The game was more or less what we expected. Nick Chubb and the Browns’ run game dominated Cincinnati. (I’m convinced that Bengals defense would have trouble stopping a CYO team). It’s no secret that the Bengals have a terrible defense. Offensively though, they’re in somewhat better shape, mainly because of Joe Burrow. The #1 overall pick looked like a vet in tonight’s game, completing 37 passes and throwing three touchdowns. The kid can play. …


Brooklyn, NY- In a classic turn of events, Steve Nash has been bullied by the mainstream media for having white skin. The media, mainly ESPN, was up in arms when the Brooklyn Nets announced that they were naming Steve Nash as their next head coach. With the climate that we’re in, people are quick to call out racial injustice when they see it. And in this case, ESPN’s employees felt that a black coach might be more deserving of the opportunity. (Not really sure why race is even a factor here, but oh well.)

Among ESPN’s daft employees, Stephen A…


The NBA took a stand on Wednesday night, with the Milwaukie Bucks deciding to boycott game 5 of their first round series with the Orlando Magic. The boycott was a response to yet another case of police brutality, this time happening in Kenosha, Wisconsin with the shooting of Jacob Blake.

With the Bucks’ decision, other NBA teams followed suit, and the entire league decided to postpone games until Saturday the 29th. It was a courageous 48 hour battle against police brutality.

(In all seriousness, I understand the frustration from the players. A majority of these guys are black, so…

Alex Edmonds

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