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Alex Edmonds
Alex Edmonds

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Dec 7, 2020

Has Mario Cristobal’s Time Run Out at Oregon?

What a sad time to be a Ducks fan. Last week Oregon lost to its in-state rival for only the second time in the last decade. It was a crushing blow for the Ducks, and they destroyed any potential argument for making the college football playoff. Then yesterday, they played…

Oregon Ducks

2 min read

Has Mario Cristobal’s Time Run Out at Oregon?
Has Mario Cristobal’s Time Run Out at Oregon?
Oregon Ducks

2 min read


Dec 6, 2020

Debate: Is Baker Mayfield a Bad QB or a Terrible QB?

Have you ever seen one of those “Fart in a Can” bottles? You know, the cans where you spray a little bit and the whole room smells like a Cici’s bathroom right after the noon buffet? Well, whether you’ve heard of it or not, I’m here to tell you that…

Comedy

2 min read

Debate: Is Baker Mayfield a Bad QB or a Terrible QB?
Debate: Is Baker Mayfield a Bad QB or a Terrible QB?
Comedy

2 min read


Nov 8, 2020

Does Aaron Rodgers Still Have It?

Aaron Rodgers got some praise on Thursday night, after throwing for four TDs and slicing and dicing through the Niners practice squad defense. And when I say practice squad, I truly mean it. Let’s think about who the Niners were missing. Just to name a few, the Niners had no…

NFL

4 min read

Does Aaron Rodgers Still Have It?
Does Aaron Rodgers Still Have It?
NFL

4 min read


Oct 27, 2020

Could a High School Team Win the NFC East?

The NFC East is liquid ass. They’ve earned the nickname ‘NFC Least’ for a reason, and it’s because all four teams are complete and utter cheeks. The atrocious play-making was on full display this weekend, as we were unlucky enough to have two NFC East matchups in week seven. A…

NFL

3 min read

Could a High School Team Win the NFC East?
Could a High School Team Win the NFC East?
NFL

3 min read


Oct 10, 2020

Breaking: Danny Green Has Been Released By the Lakers For Being “Complete Ass.”

Orlando- In classic LeBron fashion, the 18 time all star told Danny Green to pack his bags Friday, after the Lake Show lost Game 5 to the Miami Heat. “We can’t have you missing wide open threes. My five year old daughter can hoop better than you. You a construction…

NBA

1 min read

Breaking: Danny Green Has Been Released By the Lakers For Being “Complete Ass.”
Breaking: Danny Green Has Been Released By the Lakers For Being “Complete Ass.”
NBA

1 min read


Oct 5, 2020

Breaking: Racist Cop Resigns After Reading “Black Lives Matter” on NBA Court

Hillsboro, OR- In a wild turn of events, Washington County cop, David Lewis, has resigned from the Hillsboro Police Force after 28 years of service. His reason for resigning? Reading “Black Lives Matter” on an NBA court. Lewis explained his though process, saying “You know, I was watching some NBA…

NBA

1 min read

Breaking: Racist Cop Resigns After Reading “Black Lives Matter” on NBA Court
Breaking: Racist Cop Resigns After Reading “Black Lives Matter” on NBA Court
NBA

1 min read


Sep 26, 2020

SportsCenter Employee Fired For Not Reposting LeBron’s Instagram Story To Website’s Front Page

Bristol, Connecticut- It was a tough day for Omar Raja, after his internship with ESPN was terminated for not posting LeBron’s story to the ESPN front page. Scott Van Pelt was reportedly furious in the break room. “LeBron was sipping a smoothie and you didn’t think to post it? It was strawberry banana, you fuck!!” Clearly a lot of anger from Van Pelt, and rightfully so. LeBron’s instagram stories have always been a hot topic for ESPN. The Sports Media Empire had posted Bron’s previous 634 stories to their main page. That streak ended on Tuesday when Omar, now the former ESPN intern, didn’t think LeBron’s smoothie sipping was as important as the Miami Heat’s Eastern Conference Finals Win. Some nerve.

Sports

1 min read

SportsCenter Employee Fired For Not Reposting LeBron’s Instagram Story To Website’s Front Page
SportsCenter Employee Fired For Not Reposting LeBron’s Instagram Story To Website’s Front Page
Sports

1 min read


Sep 18, 2020

Breaking: Joe Burrow Might Need Tommy John Surgery After Throwing 61 Damn Times

It was the battle of Ohio in our week 2 Thursday night game. Baker vs Burrow. Two Heisman winners going at it. The game was more or less what we expected. Nick Chubb and the Browns’ run game dominated Cincinnati. (I’m convinced that Bengals defense would have trouble stopping a…

NFL

2 min read

Breaking: Joe Burrow Might Need Tommy John Surgery After Throwing 61 Damn Times
Breaking: Joe Burrow Might Need Tommy John Surgery After Throwing 61 Damn Times
NFL

2 min read


Sep 14, 2020

Steve Nash to Issue Apology for Being White

Brooklyn, NY- In a classic turn of events, Steve Nash has been bullied by the mainstream media for having white skin. The media, mainly ESPN, was up in arms when the Brooklyn Nets announced that they were naming Steve Nash as their next head coach. With the climate that we’re…

Sports

2 min read

Steve Nash to Issue Apology for Being White
Steve Nash to Issue Apology for Being White
Sports

2 min read


Sep 2, 2020

Adam Silver Hoping Police Brutality Can Stop At Least Until Season Ends

The NBA took a stand on Wednesday night, with the Milwaukie Bucks deciding to boycott game 5 of their first round series with the Orlando Magic. The boycott was a response to yet another case of police brutality, this time happening in Kenosha, Wisconsin with the shooting of Jacob Blake.

NBA

3 min read

Adam Silver Hoping Police Brutality Can Stop At Least Until Season Ends
Adam Silver Hoping Police Brutality Can Stop At Least Until Season Ends
NBA

3 min read

Alex Edmonds

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