Breaking: Joe Burrow Might Need Tommy John Surgery After Throwing 61 Damn Times

It was the battle of Ohio in our week 2 Thursday night game. Baker vs Burrow. Two Heisman winners going at it.

The game was more or less what we expected. Nick Chubb and the Browns’ run game dominated Cincinnati. (I’m convinced that Bengals defense would have trouble stopping a CYO team). It’s no secret that the Bengals have a terrible defense. Offensively though, they’re in somewhat better shape, mainly because of Joe Burrow. The #1 overall pick looked like a vet in tonight’s game, completing 37 passes and throwing three touchdowns. The kid can play. And yeah, I can call him kid cause he’s six months younger than me.

The one problem with Cincinnati, however, is that they can’t run the damn football. Joe Mixon is decent, but the Bengals’ offensive line is terrible. (I doubt any of those lineman lift weights. They can’t even lift my spirits as a fan). Because of this shitty o-line, we saw what we did tonight: Joe Burrow had to heave the ball 61 frickin times. That’s like Pat Mahomes Texas Tech numbers. Probably shouldn’t be doing that in the pros.

Between the 61 pass attempts and getting sacked multiple times, I’d say Joe Burrow has the life expectancy of about six more weeks. The kid is special, and I want to see him do well, but please get him some help before we see an obituary. And Zac Taylor, let’s give my guy’s arm a rest. Surgery in week 3 shouldn’t be anybody’s plan. Can’t be looking like my guy here: